Here is one fact about me: I LOVE taking pictures. Capturing the details, freezing time and feelings, having opportunity to experience someone’s memories even if it happened decades ago…. Sounds like magic or at least a superpower, huh?
However I used to be uninterested in that for lots of years. I thought that it is not for me and there are lots of better ways to convey information to the world. And then something changed in me.
So I was really thrilled before the photography class and also scared. Why? Because I know nothing about photoshop, light, horizon and other theoretical stuff. All that I use are my eyes, camera in the phone, some apps to work with contrast, structure …That’s it. Nothing difficult or professional. That was the reason why I was a little bit nervous.
Above that all I was challenged to find the photography room. It was a mess, no-one could explain where I should go and the building seemed to be an inescapable labyrinth. I guess that to find a door to Narnia would be much more easier. But as u may understand I am writing now that post only because I succeeded to find that and am not wandering around in hope to find it till that time. I still start feeling lost when I think about that working space though. Now if I need to send someone to hell I would rather tell a coward to go to the photography room, cause it is much more complicated to get there.
To cut the long story short I will just say that induction was pretty nice. We were shown lots of devices and spaces that we can use and I really enjoyed the part when a teacher told few things about history of photography and first devices of such kind. Nevertheless I was really confused. I was just introduced to lots of opportunities that I have, but the point is I have no knowledge how to use them. Even any idea. I mean, I have always been taking pictures outside. And I don’t know what I can do in the special photography space. I even don’t know how to operate a camera! So, I feel like I really need some knowledge or practice, basically just to see and realize what I can do.
That’s why I was happy to have a small workshop with Lucy during which we were drawing with the light in the dark room. I could never imagine that I am able to do something of that kind! That was the most marvelous thing that I have experienced in LCC yet.
Remember I mentioned once that I hate being ignorant in something?! That is such a case. I literally can’t function normally because of that small grumpy dwarf that drill my head with his pick from inside scolding that I am stupid. So if I want to safe the last parts of my mental health, I must do another photography workshop or at least try to create something in there.
See u all! And good luck you with your own grumpy dwarfs!
( I swear I will try to make it the only cliche phrase that I use)
I am back. Again.
Don’ think that I hate writing or something, but it is the part where I should tell about myself that is really killing me in that blog.
Oh God! Only after I have written the previous sentence, I suddenly realized that I do my own blog! Although it is an assignment I remind myself one of those teenage girls from old school movies who were keeping diaries . Yea, I confess that I used to think that they are cool in my 13s, but I don’t anymore.
Anyhow, I will write about every experience that I had during my studying. Teachers keep saying that we must record everything and that it is very important. Okay, I will believe them. And in any case it is much more better for me to do it here without spoiling my sketchbook( yup, I still have that problem).
I hope u wont die of boredom while reading that up to the end.
So, lets go.
12th September. Wednesday.
My first class at the uni.
I was very excited about it and a little bit nervous, but who wasn’t, right?!
I knew nothing about printmaking except for some simple basic things and couldn’t imagine how I personally may use it in future life. Anyway, it sounded interesting.
I and my friend found the workshop place without any difficulties and for me that was a fist win, considering the big size and number of floors in LCC and my terrible sense of direction inside buildings to top it all off. The rooms were spacious and light with a slight smell of paints that, have no idea why, was inspiring.
We came the first and I had time to look around. There were lots of strange machines and other stuff that looked kinda tools of tortures. I noticed some red triangle signs that are used to inform people about danger. Awesome, hah?! But it was special things for something that looked like kitchen rolling pins and sure as hell can be used to murder someone. That ,eventually, killed all my anticipation.
10 minutes after the class started. The lovely woman told us about what we gonna do in that induction and smoothly passed to not lovely points at all that were related to our safety. She chose one of the biggest machines as a sample and shared with us a nice story about one girl that broke her nose while working with it. I didn’t mind her to warn us about such ‘opportunity’ to damage yourself for the sake of art, but…. I mean, when u are just looking at those machines your common sense and self-preservation, my favorite guys, are already screaming to look out. It is much better to understand that something might happen in theory , rather than know that it happened to someone real.
The point is I am very “lucky’ for such shit. If there is a person , who will break something that is me. But, u know, I am a brave girl ( not entirely), so I wasn’t afraid ( a little bit). I picked myself up and went to the first part of induction- doing relief prints. We were given knives (Hoorrray!), paper and pencils. The process involved that rolling pins, inks and thick paper.
Before we started the teacher asked us to be careful and not to cut ourselves because she is afraid of blood and will be the first to lose conscious… Damn! I could never imagine that printmaking is so dangerous! >_<
Despite all of these, I liked the induction. That was really fun and unusual for me. However it was the second part of the lesson that I liked the most. We all were already a little bit tired , when were sent to another member of printmaking team. And that was him, who encouraged us to continue. He was joking a lot, telling interesting facts and just smiling, taking everything easy. He seemed to be so in love with what he was doing and that was marvelous. It is not so often when u can see a grown-up who is going his work with such a pleasure and not being stressed . That inspired me.
I don’t know whether I will do printmaking in my future life or not but I am grateful that I had opportunity to try that. I wanna to find out more about its history and artists and I am also thinking about having one more such a workshop ( okay, now I started to sound like an A-student).
( God….sounds like the beginning of a suicide note)
To tell the truth I hate reflections with my whole damn heart. But I have to do that, as I am too responsible to miss at least a small piece of homework. That would be killing me step by step and maybe I will even see Trudy in my nightmares ( just joking).
I really hope that these blogs are read only by teachers…
So…. Here we are.
It is already 3 weeks since I come to London and lots of stuff happened and changed.
First of all I started to study. Okay, not to study but to discover myself and trying to do new things. That’s nice. Nevertheless I am concerned about my academical standstill , I know that at the end of my art year I will see how much I developed myself ( at least I hope so).
LCC is a great place. Everybody is friendly. I have already had not so many inductions ( only printmaking and photography), but I was impressed. I understood how many things I don’t know. And that is annoying. I hate being ignorant, so I have lots of work to do in the future. Especially ,I like the teacher from printmaking class, he was so in love with his subject, his eyes were shining with excitement as if he were doing that for the first time in his life. I love that in people and hope that someday I will be like him.
Friends. For the first time in my life I understood how it is important to have them after spending two days just on my own. New country. New city. New everything. And u have no one to talk with. I didn’t cry or struggle because of all these ,just was tired of spending time in the room watching films or reading a book. Thats nice for relaxing a little bit but not for every hour in a day that u have. Thanks God, I found few nice persons to hang with . Also understood that in 99% the first people u spend some time with and u can say not only their names will automatically become your buddies for the entire year. Maybe I am wrong. That’s just my experience and observations. I am not a very social kind of person, however I really want to find good friends here. The more the better. Sounds not very realistic, so good luck to me.
Drawing. U know, when I was 8 years old I thought that I am the new Da Vinci, Monet, Van Gogh and every other legend of brush all together. Now I am 18 years old. And , evidently, these 10 years were doing nothing but punching me in order to open my eyes. I haven’t been drawing for lots of time. And my current location is an art university that is full with people that have finished drawing courses and produced dozens pieces of art before. Holy crap! I have my first sketchbook ever only now. Last week I discovered what all these letters on pencils mean and it turned out that it is not enough to have just one of them to produce a drawing. I used to soothe myself saying that I don’t need that and my talent is writing, a word is my tool not colors and it is much better : basically, it costs u nothing , just look at those prices at art shops, it seems as if everything is produced there by fabulous fairies from the kingdom of inspiration. But it isn’t working any more. I am in English country. No-one here can appreciate my works. Because they are in UKRAINIAN!
So lets review. I am surrounded by crowds of creative peers most of who can draw really well or at least tried to do that before and know how to use all these strange art stuff. I can’t show anybody my stories because of language and as a result don’t have any excuses for myself to prove that I am talented with something. Sounds like crap, doesn’t it?
It isn’t like I don’t want to study how to draw. I do! But it is not an easy peasy lemon squeezy task.
A harsh life of a perfectionist in art society. On our first lesson teacher showed her sketchbook and said that we don’t have to be neat with ours and as ,an example, drew chaotic lines on a virgin snow page. During these weeks they asked us to draw some sketches and do rubbings in the streets ext. Damn! Every time I was about to burst with tears. I mean…I like my sketchbook and don’t want to do that to it . I hate to have my things being a mess , even if it is a creative mess. I draw everything with a soft pencil and than erase parts I don’t like ( often I destroy the whole thing). That is how it works for me. And I don’t want to change it. Just wanna not to feel threat to my sketchbook so often >_<
So that’s where I’ve got so far. Still have my blood run cold every time when I hear ” U need to draw”/ “Lets draw”/ or whatever with “draw’. Doing my best not to receive a heart attack because of my neatness towards a sketchbook, trying not to catch a cold due to my ” strength ” and making efforts to find good friends. Sounds…..uncertain, doesn’t it?!
See u all in the next post!
( In case I will be ready to torture myself again to do another reflection)